“Ah sorry folks, sorry, mental health moment. Sorry guys, mental health”.
And then I watch this leather clad guy stumble off the bus cradling a floral mug. At least this one didn’t slide into the seat beside me and start pouring out his deepest insecurities. I don’t know what it is about the way I look that makes every mentally unstable individual think that I am the one person at the bus shelter that will care about their problems, but they do. Take Neo- Nazi (or so I thought) Rat man for instance,
I’m huddled outside the subway station in Duesseldorf, Germany one afternoon and it’s pissing down by the bucket load. The train station is a favorite hang out for local alcoholic bums, shaky junkies, sulking emo’s, and an army of punk kids. Now their generally pretty harmless but are known to have the occasional freak out, so I’m basically minding my own business. I look up just for a moment to check what time my train is coming but am somehow too slow and end up locking eyes with a bleary eyed, army boot wearing skinhead and before I know it he’s taking big purposeful strides over to my direction.
“Oh fuck”, I think, “Fuck fuck fuck”.
Now in case you’re wondering I’m not exactly what you might call white. In fact I’m only half German, and the other half is African. But I have never in my life had any serious racial problems but when this tall spindly Nazi looking guy is making a bee-line towards me my heart starts pounding a little faster. So this guy never takes his eyes off me and sits down on the bench so close beside me I can see where he forgot to shave.
“Do you like rats?”
I don’t even get to answer.
“Do you like rats? Because, because I have this beautiful rat, she is my best friend, she sleeps in my bed but I can’t keep her anymore and she needs somebody to love her. Do you love rats?”
And it was only then that I saw a white beady eyed little creature poke its nose out of a hole in his jacket. I try to explain to him that I really do like rats but I couldn’t possibly take care of one at the moment.
“Oh”.
And a few moments pass, this guy is still staring at me. Suddenly he takes my hand and starts stroking it.
“You have such beautiful skin, such a pretty colour, not too brown, just really beautiful. And so soft, it’s so soft isn’t it?”
At that moment my train pulls in. THANK GOD. I wish my new friend all the best of luck with finding his pet a new home and jump aboard.
Do you see what I mean? This kind of stuff happens to me all the bloody time. Here’s another example,
I’ve just finished work and I’m sitting at the bus stop in downtown Auckland when this girl comes running across the road holding her hands over her face like she’s got a blood nose or something. I’m watching her, of course I’m watching her because it’s an unusual sight and I’m wondering what her problem is. Well I should have known better because she see’s me and immediately stumbles over,
“Do you think I’m ugly? Oh god I am ugly aren’t I?”
“No”, I tell her, “I don’t think your ugly, in fact I can’t really even see your face”.
“You know I was just standing up the street and this car load of guys drove past and started barking at me, said I was a dog. I shouldn’t have even left the house, I’m too ugly. Man you’re beautiful aren’t you? You remind me so much of my sister. She lives in Australia now, she’s really hot. You look just like her, well except that she recently had a nose job so now she looks a little bit hotter than you do but you have the same body shape”.
And I’m not kidding this went on and on until she finally said she had to go (as though I was the one who was holding her up), and she ambled off down the street. The guy that had been sitting beside me at the bus stop suddenly turned and asked if I knew the girl, I told him I’d never seen her before in my life. He told me he had, that poor girl has schizophrenia. We sat there in silence for a few minutes when the guy suddenly turned to me again,
“Have you let the Jesus Christ our almighty savior into your life yet”?
“No”, I tell him, “I am not religious and plan on staying that way”.
“But you don’t know what the lord can do for you, why don’t you come to my church this Sunday and experience it for yourself”.
Ah no thanks.
When the first bus arrives I decide to hold back and let this guy get on, there’ll be other buses where I won’t have to fight off being converted. So I get on the second bus and am relieved to see that it is practically empty. A few stops later a middle aged man gets aboard, he pays his fare and walks down the bus and I’m thinking he’s going to brush right past me but he stops.
“Excuse me please may I sit here”.
I can’t believe it, so many empty seats and he’s got to choose mine. I shuffle over anyway.
“Thank you. You know what’s so sad about today’s society? People are too scared to communicate, just look at them all sitting there starring straight forward avoiding conversation with their neighbor”.
It’s late and it doesn’t seem worth starting a debate over so I agree half-heartedly.
“My mother died last week, I’m in therapy because of it at the moment. She was pretty old but anyway that’s where I’ve just come from…”
But to be honest though some of the people I meet aren’t completely insane.
A little while back I had just finished a thirteen hour shift at work and was down at the bus stop trying to figure out how long I’d have to wait in the cold for the next bus when this slightly round middle aged man asked if he could be of any help. I quickly realized that he was one of those people whose job it is to make sure people pay their fare, that the buses are running on time, and the bus drivers are doing their job. Anyway it turns out we both had a while to wait so we started talking. We discussed rising petrol prices, working late night jobs, how the new bus system works, and then all of a sudden he let out a cry.
“Look at this”, he said holding up a shinny silver coin,” Brilliant, it’s a Canadian one, I don’t have this yet. I collect coins you know, have been doing it for years. I used to sort them into categories and keep them in books but these days I just fire the bloody things into a box. Still you never know, one day I might sort it out and then I’ll be glad to have this one in my collection”. I really found a soft spot for this guy whose life revolved around the running of the inner Auckland buses and his ever growing coin collection, some peoples lives seem so deliciously simple and straight forward.
I catch the same bus everyday, the 045 which stops outside the dairy at 0930am every morning. There are a couple of people I am beginning to recognize like the young Japanese guy who has to sprint to make his bus more often than I do, or the pale doll like girl with the big red lips who is always re-adjusting her ripped stocking, but there are some who I apparently over-look.
“Hey I know you. I think my friend proposed to you once. You work in that bar don’t you? Yeah he always asks girls to marry him when he gets drunk, it’s getting pretty embarrassing”.
