So I’ve been sitting hunched over my laptop all day trying to write an article about this slightly scary new movement. I came across the term submissive (or surrender) wives last year sometime while skimming over a review of a book by a woman named Laura Doyle. Maybe you’ve heard of her by now? She is the author of ’The Surrendered Wife’, and it has not only stirred up a hell of a lot of controversy, but has also developed a loyal following. Basically Mrs Doyle was a successful career woman and strong minded feminist who struggled to come home and be the loving wife to her husband, and as a result her marriage was in tatters. From what I understand (I haven’t actually read the book) Mrs Doyle came to the conclusion that the only way to save the marriage is if she gave herself up to her husband entirely. The whole thing sounds like a page straight out of ‘The Stepford House Wives’ . As a surrendered wife you don’t question your husband, you don’t raise your voice to him, don’t disagree, give him full control over your finances (yes even Mrs Doyle hands her pay cheques over at the end of the week and in return recieves an allowance from her dear husband), and my favourite rule is that you never say no to sex… if your husband is in the mood and your not… well then you get in the mood! In fact according to one surrender wife the first lesson you learn is to put an invisible piece of tape over your mouth! In every example I have read the husbands were the pussy whipped kind who were under the complete control of their wives and it resulted in both parties being miserable. So these women did a complete turn around, the men were forced to become ‘men’ again (and loved it of course), the women were happier because they were no longer going to work as well as coming home to cook, clean, look after the kids, and pay the bills, and life is suddenly bliss. There are parts of this insane situation that I sort of agree with especially when it comes to equal work loads because lets face it, most women are doing a lot of overtime these days. What I really worry about though is the type of guys who actually want to be with a submissive woman. How can you be in a relationship with somebody who never lets on how they actually feel about anything? I just can’t see how living in an extreme situation like that can lead to a fulfilling existance. My favourite part about this movement is that as a surrendered wife you are advised to keep what your doing a secret form your husband and as Mrs Doyle’s husband says;
“If you go to see a magician, you don’t really want to see how the tricks are done, you just want to enjoy the results” – John Doyle (Surrendered Wives).
Awesome…where can I sign up?! What do you guys think about it?
Anyway on that note I actually just finished doing the house work before and have to admit to quite enjoying it. I only do it once a week (we’re only 2 people and its a little house), so every Sunday when my flatmate is at work I turn up the music (I’m a huge rockabilly/ swing fan so it’s either that or a bit metal if I’m in a lousy mood). I put on my favourite pair of black heels, snap on the yellow rubber gloves, tie a scarf around my head to keep my hair out of the way and start scrubbing! Through all my singing, dancing, and tittering around in heels the house work is done before I know it and I’ve had an entertaining afternoon. Lets face it, it’s gotta be done (house work that is), so you may as well make an event of it!
While rattling on about house work here are a couple of related home-maker things I love;
Bakerella
How cute are these cupcakes from Bakerella?? I admit that its not something MY mother would appreciate, but I think its cute as sin all the same. This woman has an entire blog dedicated to cupcakes, baking, and cake decorating and its not exactly the type of stuff your nana would whip up. Check her out… http://bakerella.blogspot.com/
Lucky Lady
This site has some really great Rockabilly, Retro inspired homeware. It’s a little bit kitsch but thats kind of what I like about it!
Also check out
Anomalee’s
More rockabilly/ punk/ retro inspired homeware… what I would give to know where this gal gets her fabrics from!
Cakes Men Like by Benjamin Darling
I have NO idea how this book ever came into my clutches but I love it! Its basically a compilation of cake recipe’s from the 30’s, 40’s, 50’s produced by different companies to entice women to bake with their product. If nothing else these cakes will give guaranteed heart attacks and high cholesterol!
Okay well thats enough with the house wife business for one day I think… don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression of me already!
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lol ok I have no idea how old this blog is, (i did not look) however I am in one of those relationships. It is wonderful. You make it sound funny, lol but in the actual life.it is not as it seems. I am a very strong opinionated woman. My husband listens to my opinions. He loves that I have spunk. He would never change that about me. I just do not direct that sharpness of my tongue towards him any longer. We used to fight alot. We had a rocky marriage most of the ten years we were married. I spent my time trying to change him. Well all I had to do was change myself. He has turned into the man that I wanted , that I initially fell in love with. The more I give to him, the more he in turns gives it right back to me. It is as if we are two different people now and our home is in peace. and we are best friends again……lol I was a huge feminist. Don’t knock it , till you try it. ..
Thanks for your comment it’s so interesting to hear from somebody who is an actual practising Surrender Wife! I sort of agree that the lack of role definition in relationships today probably cause problems but I guess it’s about finding a balance… which varies for everybody!
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